As a working parent, you may often feel like you’re constantly juggling, trying to balance your career with the demands of your family. There’s a common belief that to have sanity and balance again, requires less time with your children. That work, exercise and hobbies can only be truly enjoyed if you can be alone. Is this an absolute?
The truth is, the more emotionally and physically present you are with your children, the more fulfilling your relationship. Research consistently shows that the bond you create with your little one during their formative years is key to their emotional well-being and security and your own. Your new balance in life can mean that “being filled” actually comes from your time spent with your child, rather than away.
Unfortunately, many parents fall into the trap of thinking that they need to escape their family life to reconnect with themselves. Work becomes a way to “have a break” from the constant pull of parenting, but this mindset can leave both parents and children feeling disconnected. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to choose between work and family time. The two can coexist in a healthy, balanced way that benefits everyone.
So how can you create a culture of connection in your home while maintaining a fulfilling career? Start by shifting your perspective. Instead of thinking of work as something that separates you from your family, see it as part of the larger picture of providing for and supporting your loved ones. Plan small routines that allow you to integrate moments of connection with your child into your workday. If you can swing having lunch with your child, making a habit of resting together will serve you throughout family life. When you pick up your child from their place of care or school, make those first moments very intentional. They will be much more cooperative to get into the car seat and head off on an errand if they have connected with you first.
Similarly, get creative with how to involve your child in your exercise routine. Afterall, you’ll want to instill this healthy habit in your child and be present for their success down the road in exercise, recreationally or in athletics. They will be in awe and full of eager gratitude to be asked to work with you. That is their favorite thing after all, they just want to shadow us and learn everything they can from us.
Remember, the goal is to find connection rather than feeling the need to push them away. If you’re still feeling frazzled, it's worth thinking about how you are resting or preparing your heart and mind each morning to be ready to receive your child. Review your basic needs as simple as the food you eat, the sleep you get, and the spiritual needs you have. Just as with your child, with these basic needs met you’ll have more energy to creatively involve your child in work, play and exercise. It’ll take practice, but the outcome of the joy you see in your child by getting to do more with you will be well worth it.
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