We might be starting to sound like a broken record round here - can you hear your Grandmother saying "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure"? Well, it's true, especially when it comes to life with toddlers. As parents, we often find ourselves navigating new territories, and holiday shopping with little ones can be one of those challenging yet potentially rewarding experiences.
Parenting life and shopping online are a happy combination these days - aren't we the lucky millennials?? But let's face it, you still might find the need to head into an actual store at some point this holiday season, or maybe you want to just enjoy window shopping. Becoming a parent does not mean you have to give up all the things you enjoy, but it does require adjusting your expectations and incorporating what a child needs into your plans.
The Montessori approach emphasizes independence, respect for the child, and prepared environments. By applying these principles to holiday shopping, we can create a positive experience for both parents and children. Here's how to prepare the Montessori way:
Before You Go Out:
Think about the key habits you want to instill in your child.
- We use indoor voices inside of stores
- We buy what's on the list and nothing more
- We can look and not touch most things (and touch a few specific things with permission)
Remember, you are setting precedents and traditions with each new thing you do with your child. They are creating patterns in their mind, and they will begin to think "ah, this is the way things go" unless you make a very clear and communicated distinction. For example, you might say, "Today is your birthday, so we are buying ___ which we do not normally do."
Consider these important questions:
Remember, there is a threshold you may want to consider not crossing in these early days. Each shopping trip is an opportunity to reinforce positive habits and set realistic expectations for future outings.
- Do you want your child to expect that you will buy something for him/her every time you go shopping?
- Do you want them to expect a purchased food item or snack, or something you bring with you?
- Do you want them to touch and feel things in the store?
In the Montessori approach, we encourage children to be active participants in their environment, but within clear boundaries. Decide on these boundaries before your shopping trip and communicate them clearly to your child.
1. Prepare yourself & expectations. Unless it's a quick trip to get a very specific item you know you can do directly, you will still need to go in with the expectation that plans could change quickly depending on how your child is feeling. They may turn out to be a trooper, but it's also possible they reach a "limit" before you do. Just be ready to wrap up, make your purchases and call it a day.
This flexible mindset aligns with the Montessori principle of following the child. By being prepared to adjust your plans based on your child's needs, you're showing respect for their capabilities and limitations.
2. Pack snacks and water, all the things you know you need in your diaper bag. In Montessori, we emphasize preparation of the environment. Your diaper bag is a mobile prepared environment for your child!
While Shopping:
1. With a stroller-aged child (0-2)
- Plan for a break time for them to get out of the stroller (unless you know they are napping during the trip). Even though they might not be walking or walking regularly, no one likes to be contained for too long! They will need snuggles and a place to roam.
- Stopping at a restaurant is a break for you, not for your child. Look for a grassy spot, a playground, or a cozy seating area with carpet for your crawler.
In Montessori, we recognize the importance of movement for a child's development. These breaks allow your child to explore their environment and develop their gross motor skills.
2. With a walking & engaging child
- Involve them in the shopping process. Let them help carry small, unbreakable items or push a small cart if available.
- Play simple games like "I Spy" to keep them engaged and observant of their environment.
- Give them choices within limits. For example, "Would you like to look at the red sweater or the blue one?"
These strategies align with Montessori principles of promoting independence and decision-making skills.
By preparing both yourself and your child using these Montessori-inspired strategies, you can transform potentially stressful holiday shopping trips into valuable learning experiences. Your child will gradually learn about making choices, respecting boundaries, and engaging with the world around them in a meaningful way.
Happy shopping!
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